Tuesday, September 2, 2008

That sinking in feeling....

I woke up with it this morning. That sinking-in feeling, that is. That this is really for real, we do live here and we are not going home any time soon. Perhaps it was the timing that triggered it-Week#3, or the post-anniversary weekend blues, or the mere fact that I when my kids woke me up this morning I had absolutely no plans in mind for the whole day, or the whole week for that matter. 

It's a strange feeling to actually have such an unrestricted life schedule laid out before me. Besides the obvious tasks of feeding, diaper changing and amusing my two small children, I truly have the opportunity to create each day for ourselves, a new and exciting one. But what a daunting task. Intimidating even. 

I pondered over this intimidation factor all morning and ended up at the grocery store cruising the aisles randomly looking for who knows what. (Tip: bad thing to do when you are trying NOT to spend money) Isla found the outing most exciting as I didn't have the energy to stop her from rearranging the store shelves, much to her delight. And Tuk (Roscoe) is always happy wherever he goes.  

I decided to let Isla choose the afternoon activity as long as she agreed to go down for a long afternoon nap, so when the both of them woke up around 3 p.m. we headed out to the park down the street.  Isla has really taken to her tricycle here in Logan, must be the easy sidewalk riding, which she maneuvers along quite fast now. The last few outings to the park have amounted to small talk and phone number swapping with some other parents, which has been great. But today it was quiet, and Isla was the only little monkey monkeying around, which she didn't seem to mind. 

Suppertime wasn't far off and we headed home to whip up a new 'what's in the fridge' recipe for dinner which actually turned out pretty good. Baked Asiago cheese and spiced meatballs with a basil and tomato sauce on pasta! Robin was home for a couple hours to eat and help put the kids to bed. I snuck out for a bike ride down the hill to return a video and came back feeling somehow rejuvenated by the little bit of exercise. 

It's been a pretty ordinary day, nothing new and exciting to tell of, but somehow I'm not feeling intimidated anymore, just grateful instead.  Grateful to be able to be with my kids these precious years, when monkeying around at the park is as exciting as it gets to an almost three year old. Let's hope we'll have many more days like today. 

1 comment:

Schmoo and Beans Mom said...

How important it is to be grateful for time at home in the early years. Just waiting for my sinking-in feeling to start with watching Schmoo head out to kindergarten tomorrow.

Miss you.