Wednesday, October 14, 2009

It ain't easy

They said it would be hard. And they were right. 

A series of several challenging days in a row have left me at times questioning, Why are we doing this again? Only to be reminded of the many hours and numerous conversations Robin and I had a few years ago when we decided to embark upon this crazy adventure of graduate school with a family. Questioning the financial burden we'd be taking on, the stress of moving far from our support network and loved ones, trying to anticipate the doors it might open up for us. It was a lengthy process of weighing in all the pros and cons, considering what we'd be giving up temporarily for the long term benefit of us all. 

I think even as well prepared as we tried to be, I don't think we realized how unbalanced our lives would really become. Robin's days seem consumed with juggling his teaching, his own coursework and studio practice, all the while trying to figure out the greater picture of where to take his work and what direction this intensive opportunity will steer him upon its completion. With firing shifts, visiting artist lectures, readings and time dedicated to critical reflection, there is no surprise that he feels stretched and unbalanced. Only to come home to his kids, yearning to squeeze whatever attention there remains out of him. And a partner that herself at times feels abandoned and ill equipped to do yet another bed time routine on her own. 

It's a struggle. All I can say is Thank God for that late night glass of wine, when the kids are in bed, the pots have been covered up for the night and we get the chance to look across at one another and remember why we are doing this. 

They said it'd be hard. And they were right. 
We said we would get through it. And we will. 


3 comments:

twohig's said...

I'm sorry Eden. I wish I could make it easier for you! On a happier note...I am glad you moved onto 1500E even if is only for 3 years!

Adam Field said...

Stay strong!

Designer, Seamstress and Gardener, Elsje Boer said...

Are you coming up for xmas?! We'll be around. Can't wait to see you!